If they ask you to drown,
hold your fingertips underwater
for seven minutes.
If they ask you to bleed out,
write ‘blood’ on a piece of paper
and throw it into your backyard.
If they ask you to jump off a bridge,
build one out of Popsicle sticks
and tape it to your trampoline.
If they threaten to punch you in the face,
hand them a twelve-sided dice
and tell them to go for it.
(It doesn’t matter who you kiss,
so long as it’s worthwhile.)